I Miss You
by LightSpirit
Summary: Kerry/Smithy: The hardest day of the year has come yet again, so how will Smithy cope with reliving all the hurt and pain of losing the only woman he has ever truly loved?


**I Miss You**

**_The hardest day of the year has come again, so how will Smithy cope with reliving the tragedy that brought his whole world crashing down?_**

* * *

That day had come; the 21st of October. At Sun Hill Police Station, Inspector Dale Smith had finished his shift and was on his way out when he was interrupted by DS Stevie Moss.

"Smithy, we're all going out to the pub fancy joining us?" She asked smiling.

Smithy, however, was not smiling. He had the same frown on his face that he had been carrying all day; it hurt him that nobody knew or remembered why he was so down. There was only one answer he could give Stevie as he shook his head.

"Sorry but, there's somewhere I need to be." He replied before turning his back to her and walking down the corridor, out into the yard. Stevie could only watch him walk away, wondering what was making him feel so down.

* * *

Instead of heading home, Smithy made his way to the local flower shop where he bought a large bouquet of white lilies. After paying for his purchase, he made his way down the streets until he arrived at the graveyard. Walking through the gates, he passed many other graves before finally reaching the one he had come to visit. Today, the 21st of October, was the five year anniversary of someone incredibily special to him and he stood for a few moments above the place in the earth where she had been laid to rest. The words on the headstones, he knew off by heart and in gold they read:

_In Loving Memory Of  
PC Kerry Young  
Died 21st October 2004  
Aged 26  
Beloved daughter, friend and colleague  
You will be sorely missed by those whose hearts you touched_

Tears welled in his eyes as he was yet again reminded that Kerry was gone and he was never going to see her again. He knelt down and carefully laid the beautiful lilies on her grave; he always brought white lilies for her on special occasions beacuse they were her favourite flower. There was also a card left with the flowers with a very tender messgae from him. It read:

_My darling Kerry  
I love you and miss you more and more everyday  
All my love,  
Smithy xxx_

Smithy sat down on the grass and looked at the picture of her; her beautiful smile always gave him comfort, but not enough to make the tears and the pain go away. It would've been different if she was actually there. He then started to speak to her.

"Five years; that's hard to believe, even now. It seems like just yesterday that we met and I fell in love you. I still can't get my head around to why such an evil piece of filth would want to destroy and take the life of someone so innocent and beautiful as you. There's a lot of things I regret, like being too scared to tell you how much I loved you and not doing more to help you and protect you. I'm still angry that I couldn't save you because I know I could've. I can only hope you can forgive me. I don't know what else to do now; all I've got left is the job and I hope that I can make you proud with all the work I do. I wish more than anything that I could bring you back, but I know that's never going to happen. But I can still wish that someday, I'll be here lying beside you and I'll be with you where you are now. I love you Kerry and I'll always miss you."

He stood up again, brought two fingers to his lips and planted a kiss onto Kerry's headstone; the tears were falling from his eyes now. He looked at the grave for a few minutes before turning on his heal and walking out of the cemetary, wiping away his tears as he did so.

* * *

Later back at his flat, Smithy was sitting on the sofa drinking a can of beer and watching TV; nothing was assuming him at all. He turned off the TV and looked at the photo of him and Kerry on the mantle piece. He decided what to do now. Putting his half-full beer can on the table, he stood up off the sofa, walked over to his cupboards and took out a stationary set. After writing an address on an envelope, he took a piece of paper and started writing a letter. But this wasn't just any letter; it was a love letter to Kerry. Even though she was gone, this helped him cherish her memory and think back over all the happy times. He did this every night and had been doing so for the past two and a half years. When he finished writing, he kept the letters in a storage box under his bed. On this day, he always wanted the letter to be special as he wrote down what he was thinking.

_My beautiful angel  
__  
I can't describe how much I miss you in words, so the best I can do is show you in the form of this letter. It hurts me knowing that you are so far away and I can't see you or touch you, but all I feel I need to do is think of you and how your angel face can make me smile. I hear your sweet voice in my head telling me you love me and I smile, but I hope you are thinking of me as I am thinking you. The only thing that's missing is the warmth of your embrace and I would give anything just to hold you in my arms again my darling sweetheart._

_I know I say this every night, but I feel I need to tell you this all the time. I love you so much. I think about you in the morning when I wake up, I think about you at night when I go to sleep and I dream about you when I'm sleeping. You are my one and only true love and I can never replace you. Even though we are separated, I am hopeful to that day when I'll be with you again. I even dare to hope and dream that you will come home to me someday and until that day, I will cherish you in this heart of mine that is yours always and forever. I love you and I miss you my darling Kerry._

_With all my undying love for you,  
Smithy._

Smithy read over the beautiful letter before folding it up and putting it into the envelope. He then took the letter into his bedroom, reached under his bed and pulled out a black box. He opened it, revealing hundreds of other letters for Kerry and put the one he had just written inside with the others. He then put the lid back on and pushed the box back under the bed. Later on, Smithy climbed into his bed and soon fell asleep, sinking into happy and wonderful dreams of his beloved Kerry and the day when he would be with her again.

**The End**


End file.
